Nov 9, 2013 - General News    No Comments

Bye Bye Softball

Just a quick update/story before bed-

A few weeks ago we found a place where I could play softball! practices on Wednesdays and games on Saturdays.  I was SUPER excited. I started practicing with my dad. One Wednesday we went to the sports center kind of place to show the coaches what I could do and to watch the team practice. I was so bad! They understood obviously because I hadn’t practiced in a year! They played very differently. Most important to me was how they pitched. Underhand. Slow Pitch. I had never ever done that before! It was crazy the ball when like straight up in the air when I tried! It was so funny!

So I decided to go to the game on Saturday just to see what it was like. I ended up playing second base the whole time. It was… HOT! I was burning up! when I got up to bat the first time I was sooo nervous. I did absolutely HORRIBLY! I swung at the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd pitch none of which would’ve been called strikes had i not swung! I felt like I couldn’t stop myself from swinging. I could only hear people laughing. I was just some stupid white girl who couldn’t even speak Spanish. I didn’t know what to do. I just started crying sooooo hard! To make it worse I was the 3rd out… great. I marched off the field and I was humiliated and embarrassed. What was I doing there?

I haven’t been back. I haven’t even touched my softball gear. I’m done with softball. It has been to long and I will never be able to play the same. I am going to miss it so so so much. I played 7 straight years of it and I’m happy to be able to say that :-) But it’s okay! As I have said before I have started playing basketball and I am still keeping up with soccer!

We won 3rd place for Varsity Soccer in school this year! We had a much better season than last year when we never won a game HAHA. We got a trophy too! Basketball is coming up in the Spring also! There is a triathlon in February also. I did it last year and got 1st for middle school girls but ahg it stresses me out just thinking about it! I don’t know if I should do it? Let me know :)

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Jul 2, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    No Comments

Goldfish

Today I once again saw how selfish I am.

I went to my house today. I walked in and went to every room. I dragged my finger across every last piece of furniture. People came and then they were gone. Each time they left, the house got a little bit emptier. Things… disappeared. It was kind of scary! And sad…..

So I was in the pool and I looked over and saw some kids eating goldfish. I didn’t think anything of it. I went over and shoved some into my mouth as the others were doing. I was happy to pour some into the other kids hands. But then I realized that I had bought that whole big box of Goldfish for myself with my money. I all of a sudden exclaimed “CAELI why are you eating MY goldfish!!!!!!?????”

I had no problem with taking all the Goldfish and giving it away before I knew it was mine. But when I knew it was mine, I wanted it for me. URG.

Its not just with Goldfish obviously HAHA but I realize with so may other things I am so selfish and I want MY stuff and MY things. I remember when I was little my mom would tell Caeli and me that we weren’t allowed to say MINE. We would fight over things and say they were mine or hers.

I know it will be hard but I want to work on freely giving.  I’m so clingy with my things and I want to be able to let go.

Adios!

~~~~Corinna

 

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Jun 14, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    2 Comments

Bugs, Bugs, and More Bugs

A few days ago I literally walked into my parents room in tears telling them that I am spoiled.

Last week we had a team come to Campo Alegria from Colorado Springs. We did a camp with some kids from an after school program in Managua. While they were here, I decided that I was going to be a good helper, and instead of sleeping in my air-conditioned clean beach-house bedroom, I was going to sleep in the buggy and hot cabins. So I walk in and the only bed left (that is made) is against 2 walls (in the corner). I am a little squeamish when it comes to things that crawl in my bed. I am seriously fine with snakes and the giant toads they have hear. But creepy crawlies are a no-no for me HAHA. So I lay my stuff out and whip my sheets through the air to hopefully get rid of anything on them. Then it was time to sit down :). I sit down and look behind me and there is a thing with the body of a beetle, legs for jumping, and huge pinchers. I have no idea what it was but I flipped. I tried not to make a scene but I made someone else kill it for me.

This went on for a while until I was on the verge of tears. I could no longer handle it. I grabbed my stuff and texted my dad to come over to the cabin to take me over (I didn’t have a flashlight and I did not want to step on anything!). I went back to the house and stomped into my moms room complaining how they needed to fumigate and how everything was just so horrible. I took a breath and felt the air-conditioning and then froze in my tracks. It was then I started to cry. I was so amazed. I walked from what my spoiled bratty self thought was bug world, into a freaking beach house.

OH MY GOSH

This does not mean that my life is like perfect now and I am forever changed. I forget about that all the time and go on being really gross. I step back and see that I am sick. Nasty. EW!

I then proceded to go into my room and turn on the air-conditioning. I don’t believe that the things I have are wrong and that I should go out and give everything away. I do not believe that I should feel bad about having air-conditioning. But I do believe that I really need to see what I have. I think it is perfectly fine to have what I have but when I react in the way I did over the bugs… Well that is wrong.

The 2nd time we came to Nicaragua a lady came with us who told us she hated it here. She said it was gross and nasty. And to be honest I was mad at her. I couldn’t believe we were making kids happy and she sat there and complained. But now I am doing the exact same thing and truly I am angry with myself! But it is sad because I only see these things every once in a while. It is SO hard! I pray for God to give me strength and I know he does. I am not a “let’s go camping” kind of girl and I think that’s ok, but I need to be mature about this stuff.

The next night I did in fact sleep in the cabin (they did spray poison) and I didn’t see 1 bug (OK maybe an ant) until the morning.

I woke up and as my eyes fluttered open a spider was on its way towards my face. I grabbed the closest thing near me, which happened to be my Bible, and said ”Oh no you don’t” and slammed my Bible on it. It crumpled up and I wiped it off my pillow. I smirked and was proud of myself. Was that wrong to hit a spider with my Bible?… Nah. I had slept with my bible hoping God would protect me from bugs! LOL!

So guys, I admit that sometimes I think I might be living in Hell on Earth, (NOT just in Nicaragua but in life) but that is SO STUPID. I just cannot get over it!!! AHHH seriously there is so much worse. GrRrRr

~Corinna

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May 2, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    1 Comment

Only Nicaragua

short one ~

Today I learned that some kids around the world don’t even know that there is anything else.

It doesn’t quite make sense to me. I went to a tutoring center in a small poor community today, and I told a little girl that Priscilla (friend who is visiting) is from Los Estados Unidos and she asked me what that was. I started naming other countries and she had no idea what I was talking about. Even the Latin America countries like Costa Rica or Guatemala. This little girl thought that Nicaragua was it all. This it it. And these kids have never traveled anywhere outside of Managua, Nicaragua. They aren’t even sure that there are other cities! They only know what they have heard others say.

My mom was showing the kids a map and they stared with blank faces when she asked where Nicaragua was. It was only of Latin America and they still had no idea! I was awestruck.

I am soooo grateful for the American education I grew up with! I am not putting these kids down or making fun of them. I am simply saying that this is sad!

:-) corinna

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Staying

We… Are… Staying

Have you ever been in a situation where if you pick either option, you will wish you picked the other?

I signed on to 1 year. No More. Only 1 year. Well I am not the decision maker in my house. It’s (dun dun dun…) the parents! I hate it! but doesn’t ever teenager? yup! I love control. I am loud (obnoxious), demanding (rude), determined, and other things.  But what makes this OK? My trust in God. I can never say these things out loud (I get embarrassed), but I can write them! Yup I am loud, but I can be loud for God (not obnoxious),  I can be demanding for God (not rude) and I can be determined to follow him! In the eyes of those around me, I am far but perfect. And yes, I see that of them too. Everyone has heard that no one is perfect, but when we say that, we mean by our actions and thoughts. I love the song called give me you’re eyes by Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

I wish that we could all see this way. I still really don’t see my purpose in Nicaragua. You have no idea how hard it is for me to believe that there even is a plan! If I look hard enough, I can see that something I did (nothing specific this is just an example) lead up to what happened now… And I can get a glimpse of what would’ve happened had I not.

I am sorry if I complain haha. I should be amazingly greatful for what I have here even if it isnt what I want.

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Mar 9, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    2 Comments

The Objects in our Life

I played in my first basketball game 2 weeks ago and I am proud to say that I did NOT fall on my face! I actually scored! We ended up winning too! I definitely have my strengths and weaknesses in the game of basketball. I am “good” or “fine” at defense  I can steal the ball! But… once I steal the ball I am not sure where to go from there. I mainly just run down and shoot. Sometimes I even make it! HA-HA. That is what I need to practice. mainly shooting. yup. So everyone can pray for that! That God gives me the strength and even the will to do better! Sometimes it is frustrating when I practice at home and I can’t seem to get it right.

 

So I was on Instagram yesterday and I saw the hash-tag #thanksmom

thanksmom    I noticed that EVERYTHING on that page was pictures of items that there mom had given to them. I also noticed that I have done this. In fact, today I complemented my mom on Facebook about her cooking! Something clicked in my mind... I really only appreciate my mom when she does something for me. The objects she gives me,  the places she takes me, Or the services she does for me.

thanksmom2

 

I’m not trying to be a goody goody or something and trying to change the way people act, I am simply writing an observation that I made.

I almost  put a picture of someone giving birth on Instagram  (just the moms face) and commented “THANKS MOM!”   #thanksmom

Its not wrong to say thanks when my mom does something good for me but it just hit me when I saw that the things on the page were .. Starbucks frappuccino and coffee, new shoes, food, clothes, gifts (camera). Someone put a picture of them texting there mom to get something for them and the mom saying yes. What is the point of that> is it a competition of how nice your mom is and how she gets u stuff when u text her and she is at the store? Maybe I just see it differently and I am being to stubborn about it all. That is just my view of this

Thank you for being alive mom!

like I said, nothing wrong with saying oooo thanks for getting me this mom! But it shouldn’t be the only time we say thanks. And it might be kinda awkward just walking up to my mom and being like thanks! but its true because so many people don’t have what we ( I ) have.

<3corinna

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Feb 21, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    No Comments

The Pressure

Today was the first day in 6 moths that I have thrown a Softball. We are playing baseball/softball in gym class.

Instead I have been doing a sport that I don’t know how to play. Basketball. I am so grateful for my coaches and teammates that have helped me learn all that I have. I still cannot say I am great at it, but I know I am better than when I started! I know it is funny to see me play but it’s all a learning experience!

We have our first game tomorrow and I’m just hoping I don’t fall on my face!

I also want to say my friends here are amazing! Instead of a call to make me feel better, 8 of the girls in my class come over to my house! We get in disagreements sometimes, but that is probably because we are ALWAYS together!

One of the things I hate the most about school is groupies.  At the beginning of the school year, everyone was together. But now, I see (example) 4 girls always walking together and laughing and excluding others. Maybe I see it wrong. But I know that I’m not the only one who notices these things. I wish that we could all be equal. It makes me SO angry when I see people being excluded, I am excluded, or even if I exclude someone. In the moment, I feel as if it is just a joke. But I have hurt peoples feelings before and after I feel horrible. I notice that when we are with friends (at least me) we talk about all the things we will never do to each other and how we pray that God will help us and that we will always do what God wants us to do. But then when we are actually out and about, we forget all that stuff till the next time. I know that is not everyone and I am also referring to myself. Like at church when I hear a message and if I think it is interesting I get absorbed into it. In that moment.    But after church is done, that feeling is done. I really want to try to work on that.

Here in Nicaragua, I see that no matter where church is on Sunday, God is always there. We don’t need a big church building. Here, we meet in our school! I swear sometimes I feel different standing in that room on Sundays, then when I eat lunch in the same room on weekdays. I know why :)

 

~corinna

 

 

 

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Jan 7, 2013 - By Corinna, General News    No Comments

Should I Stay or Should I Go

Decisions are very hard to make when there are so many different options to choose from. I feel like I am in one of those “chose your own path” books, and I am stuck.

I recently applied for the Biomedical Sciences Program at Bel Air High School. For a while I have wanted to be a doctor. But then I wonder why. 

~It interests me

~Once you are finished with college and everything you have the opportunity to make a lot of money

~You are helping people on a daily basis

~I would feel… Important. I would be going above and beyond in a special high school program and most likely a good college if I really wanted to get somewhere.

I have been looking at all different angles and what I could do with my life. I might not get accepted into the Biomed. Program and choose to simply return to Bel Air and join the basic high school classes. There, I could attend my greatest passion. Softball. Being in the Biomed Program would force me to give up sports, and that would’nt be easy. Then there is the option of staying in Nicaragua. I do really like Nicaragua, but we have no other family here, and some members of our family are not willing to travel here to visit. That makes it difficult. I continue to pray that the situation will change! Before we moved, I could walk to my cousins house in 10 minutes. We did activities together all the time. Now I haven’t seen them in almost 6 months. Even though I know that probably isn’t a lot for some families. I am so grateful for my Grandparents, Nanny and PopPop, who came to visit us for Christmas! It was so fun and was sad to see them leave but I hope they will come back soon!

So if my family chose to stay, softball would probably no longer be in my life. BUT, by being here we could encourage others to visit and experience new things! Who knows! Some friends could come for even a few months! God can make ANYTHING happen and that is something I have to remember each and everyday even when I get discouraged. If we stayed I would also see new opportunities for jobs. I still have 4 more years before college which is plenty of time but also not enough! Life is to short.

Thank You for your prayers! <3

~~~corinna~~~

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Nov 17, 2012 - By Corinna, General News    2 Comments

different perspectives

Recently I have not been wearing my contacts because of my recently injured eye. And It’s a little weird only wearing a contact in one eye and not the other. I was looking in my big stand up full body length mirror, and I took a picture that I thought at that moment was a beautiful picture of myself. I then put my glasses on to get a better look at the picture and I cringed. As I looked through the glass I started to see my imperfections. My frizzy hair, pimples, not perfectly white teeth, far apart eyes, shiny forehead and more. I just stared as the differences were pushed into my mind. I no longer had felt that picture was beautiful. I transitioned from glasses to nothing back and forth. I was thinking, “wow… I was going to put this on Instagram.” But I did’nt. At least not right away. My brain slowly processed the fact that my glasses were sort of like the world today. When I was looking at my flaws, looking through the clearness of my glasses, I had felt embarrassed that I went around like that. And yes, my hair was frizzy and I was a little crazy :-) but when I was looking without my glasses, I saw my smile. The way it was. Not the way the teeth were inside of it. I saw my personality. And I saw my big eyes. Not how spread out they were. But the joy inside of them. I saw the light shining of my skin reflecting the sun. Not the greasiness of it. But the way I looked when I saw how God made me. Perfect in his image. And you know, I put the picture on Instagram, hoping that people would see what I saw without my glasses. I learned a lesson, an important one. I need to stop looking at people through the sin of our world. The worlds glasses, changing our vision, even if it looks clear now. I want to look through the truth of who people are and not what they appear to be.

<3  

~corinna~

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Oct 6, 2012 - By Corinna    5 Comments

Sharing is caring

Hey guys! A little while ago I had the privilege of having a relaxing day at an awesome water park! We had a lot of people! 4 of the people were a Nicaragua family. It was my friend Dayanna from escuela (school), her mom, and Dayanna’s 6 year old niece and 10 year old nephew.

I had a tin of Pringles in my bag and I decided to open and share them in the car. As I opened them and the sour cream and onion aroma filled the car, the little girl in the seat in front of me slowly turned and looked at me with the cutest expression in the world. I pushed the tin forward and she shyly took a chip.

As I grabbed a few for myself I noticed that she nibbled on the edges and savored the taste of the entire chip. I looked down at the 5 in my hand and registered in my mind that in the time she spent eating her 1 chip, I would normally eat 5-10 chips. I felt guilty and handed her brother all the chips in my hand. It reminded me of the monkey Aboo in Aladdin who has a hard time giving his bread that they had just stolen, to a little girl they saw looking for food in a trash bin.

I remember me having the same defeated expression on my face when I realized I had more than I needed. Not just the Pringles, but in my daily life, I have more than I need of everything. If I say “MOOOMMM we have nothing to eat in here!!!” is it true? NO! I have plenty of food that I choose not to eat, because to my standards, “it isn’t good” from that experience I now know that I need to savor my life flavoring. I need to nibble around the edges and I need to enjoy and give thanks for what I have. So now, THANK YOU MY GOD!!

My prayer — God I thank you for giving me the opportunities to share with the people around me everyday. I can share physical things like food, or I can share spiritual things like your love, or even my words to them I can share. I want to remember EVERYDAY that EVERYTHING I have comes from someone greater than anyone else. I hope that right now, the people who are reading this can take a look around where they are and can point out some things and say “Wow, I have that?” or ” I wouldn’t have that without this or that” I hope we can all understand that God gave us some special things so that we can share them with others.

Take a plate for example, have someone over for dinner you might not even be comfortable with! or with your TV, have someone over to watch a football game that maybe can’t from where they live. I want to have someone over to my house from a poor community to sit in front of a fan with me. Blowing as hard as possible. To feel cool. Find something to share. Tell me! I want to hear!  <333

by Corinna

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